As I have mentioned before, Sara and I have very different types of relationships with the people around us. While I am rather loud and outgoing even with new acquaintances, she pulls back shyly from people and stays physically close to those she knows well. This likely stems from her first years in the United States when she needed to cling to her family and friends who spoke her language while the new environment she was immersed in swarmed with English-speakers.
She seems to be close with her family, describing in particular a close relationship with her sister (who does Sara’s hair in the morning). With friends, she exhibits a value of quality-over-quantity, mentioning her best friend Viviana often and few others.
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Sara and I differ dramatically in our interpersonal relationships, and far beyond the over-simplified level of extroverts and introverts. She is not necessarily energized by alone time; she shows fear in group settings. She is nervous to respond in school and has a preference for math probably because math presents no language barrier or differences in application across nations.
I on the other hand, being an English-speaking American who has lived in the same house and community all my life, have always been comfortable participating in classes, communicating with peers, and making friends quickly throughout everyday life.
I have struggled to find a way to bridge this divide because of the way our radically different upbringings has fundamentally affected our personalities.
Last Monday, Sara and I joined other mentors and mentees in playground games, and while I ran around playing tag, I saw her slip away inside unnoticed by others around her. As I helped her explore the monkey bars as her friends were doing, she slipped her way out almost immediately to avoid embarrassing herself, visibly regretting even trying to climb them.
Uncomfortable with the boisterous environment of the playground and lacking confidence in her own coordination on the equipment, Sara clearly preferred our time quietly coloring at a picnic table with Viviana and her mentor, Maureen, over the playground games. This comfort level with fewer, more familiar people is a common sentiment for all people, but was more extreme in Sara’s case.
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